So some of you may have heard about Peter. Peter was a disciple of Jesus. Jesus called Peter, Andrew, James and John and they left everything behind to go and follow Jesus, the son of God.
John 13: 31-38
Jesus begins to talk to his disciples about how he will be leaving soon and where he is going they cannot follow but will follow later. Peter asks, "Lord why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you."
Then Jesus answered, "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."
UGH! Can you imagine how Peter felt? He was ready to lay down his life for Jesus (or so he thought. I am sure Peter was thinking that he would show Jesus and he would save the day)
As the story unfolds this is not what happens.
MARK 14: 66-72
Peter denies Jesus three times, saying "I don't know or understand what you are talking about" and "I don't know this man you are talking about". Immediately after Peter denied Christ the third time the rooster crowed the second time.
Peter broke down and wept.
Peter had lost everything and realized he is not who thinks he is. Can you imagine the shame and hurt that Peter must be feeling knowing what he has done. Peter must have felt like a failure. He returns to what he knows and goes back to fishing.
Here is the thing. Peter let this moment of shame define him. No matter what we do we see ourselves in the light of that moment. SHAME drives distance in all our relationships.
A month or or so later in JOHN 21:4 Jesus appears to Peter and his other disciples while they were fishing. They had caught nothing. At daybreak Jesus stood at the shore and told them to cast their net on the right. When they did they caught an abundance of fish. They realized the man at the shore was Jesus. Peter jumped in the water and ran to Jesus. Jesus fed them breakfast. Jesus asked Peter, "Do you really love me?" Peter replied, "Yes Lord you know I love you". Jesus then asks, "Do you love me more than these?" Peter replied, "Yes Lord you know I love you."
Can you imagine being reunited and the feelings that Peter had to be experiencing?
Jesus was asking him to follow him completely. Possibly not to run back to "fishing" but to whole heartedly rely on God.
Peter originally was all about Peter and that he would save Jesus by laying down his life. This was his plan, not the God's plan. How often do we think our plan is the way to go? There is nothing we can do without Christ and it is so easy to get focuse on what we (I) can do. I am amazed at how Jesus just loved and accepted Peter regardless of what he had done.
This week I have thought a lot about SHAME in my life. Shame that I thought I had let go of. Shame that I didn't deserve but I let it wiggle it's way in my life. Jesus is interested in a relationship with me, not how guilty I feel about something.
When we have doubts we need to have the relationship define the relationship, not the circumstance defining the relationship.
No doubts result in looking at how God has worked in my past and how he will continue to work in my present and future.
As a child I had hurts and people who were not safe in my life. Their actions left me with shame. Those moments of hurt were DEFINING me. Instead I want to replace those moments with God's love and grace. Defining moments that send you into Christ's arms instead of the opposite direction.
What moments define you? What Roosters or thing do you have in your life that bring you down instead of up?
(sorry for the BOLD type, it won't let me change it?}