Sunday, October 6, 2013

Remembering

Yesterday it was exactly two years since my hubby was diagnosed with cancer. It all is a blur yet so burned into my memory I don't think I will ever forget. One biopsy, months on crutches, 3 surgeries, 6 weeks radiation, lots of waiting and nearly 6 months of in patient chemo. Trips to Spokane and Seattle to frequent to count. Tears that at times just wouldn't stop. Clinging to God each step of the way. Immense kindness and love from friends and strangers that continues to carry us through.This all brings us to today. Pretty exciting to slow down and think that we have been given today. Through the last two years it has been a battle. As with most battle we are all left with scars. Scars both physical and mental can do so much. Just ask my hubby. Each day he is reminded of what he has been through. He can choose to look at his body and become angry and sad or he can give thanks that he is HERE and we are together. Some days are harder than others when it comes to this.

In the process we have been given a miracle, healing and hope. We have also been on what seems like a roller coaster that doesn't want to let us off.

As I type this I am thankful but saddened by the loss of life that continues to happen around us due to this horrible disease. Broken lives and hearts. Hurts that are unimaginably deep.

I am left with a sense of purpose and urgency.
Purpose to live my life for Christ. Purpose to see the gift that each day brings. Purpose to surrender even when I don't want to. Purpose to never stop believing.

Even thought I hate remembering such a horrible day it is very close to my One and Only's birthday! Tomorrow he will be a teenager! He will get to celebrate with his Mom and Dad. Two years ago we did not know if this would happen. He will know he is loved. He will know his Mom and Dad love the Lord. He will know that His Dad wants nothing more than to live, fight and is looking forward to many, many more celebrations together.

So as we roll into fall and only a week away from my hubby's next scan I am trying to just be still, listen and love. I will not fear for I know He is with me.

This post is in memory of Sweet Phoebe. I have learned so much from you and your family. Your light, smile and wisdom has touched my life for the better. Thank for teaching me how to be brave. We love you!


5 comments:

Johann said...

I feel very close to you when I read this. My sister went through the same but they were not so lucky. Her husband died 3 years ago. he was 53. We must all keep fighting this disease. All the best to you and your family. Happy birthday to the new teenager! Thing of you all.

Marnee A said...

Happy birthday to your young man. WOW teenager-hood; good luck ;)

I rejoice with you that Ryan is there and you are all together celebrating. Harm, I love you and we continue to lift you all up in prayer. Be still and know he is GOD

Michelle said...

Harmony--I celebrate that you have a teen and that he is loved by his parents! (I also secretly snicker that you have a teen and that no matter how wonderful our children are, they are TEENS! Ugh!)

Tasha @Healthy Diva said...

I can't believe you have a teenager! :-)

dreambigrunner.com said...

You are an amazing and strong woman and always see the good in everything!