Monday, October 8, 2012

Hurting


I feel like I need to write but I don't know what to write.

We continue to get tough news and seems things just keep getting worse.

We decided to get a second opinion over in Seattle. 6 hours from our home.

We again hear and know that what  they are seeing is bad.

Sarcoma is 1% of all cancers.

Leiomyosarcoma is 10-15% of that 1% and having it originate in the bone is 1% of that. This is not new information but with a POSSIBLE reoccurance it reminds how tough this fight really is.

Confused? Overwhelmed? I am.

Survival rates are not good with Sarcoma.

We will have surgery in the coming weeks where they will take whatever they need to take.

We will wait and PRAY that they get clean margins and come back and say they were wrong. That what the thought was a reoccurance is something different.

We just want this end. We want healing. We need a miracle.

My husband is a fighter but the pain of daily moments can be too much.

I know people say that cancer sucks but it is so much bigger than that.

Losing your keys sucks.

Missing a flight sucks.

Running out of gas sucks.

Being injured sucks.

Cancer on the other hand is one the most paralyzing and painful things in the world. I can't breathe. I am scared. I ache for my children. I ache for my husband. I am struggling to find the light. I don't know what to do.

I am praying each moment that God takes the darkness away as I know only He can.

Please pray for protection for my children. Gudiance for how to navigate through this pain and most of all HEALING and a MIRACLE. We will not give up.

Keep praying.









18 comments:

Amanda said...

Harmony I wish I could just reach out and hug you right now. I will pray for everything you are asking for and I will also pray that God will show you in some small way what he has planned. Anything is possible with God. Anything. And that is why we keep holding onto him because He is the only one who can amaze us and love us time after time. Isaiah 25:7-8

Emz said...

praying today and constantly.

Shared your story with some family yesterday as well.....they are praying too.

In my thoughts always.
You are so strong. Keep fighting.

Penny said...

I have you and your family in my thoughts and prayer. I pray you will see a miracle soon.

Canuck Mom said...

I will continue to pray for your family and you. I often say cancer sucks, as I lost my father to it. You are right though it more than sucks. It is the only thing I will say I hate.....I really do hate cancer. My husband is a histology guy at UNC here in NC and I will be sharing your story with him to get his thoughts. Keep fighting. Keep standing strong. Let God and those around you help to hold you up.

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

Praying for you friend.. I am so sorry you are going through this :(

a runner said...

Thinking of you and your family each and every day. Sending so much love and strength to you...and holding on to the deepest, most pure hope for a miracle. I love you.

Marnee said...

oh Harm, you are right...cancer is so much more then just sucking. I wish so much I could take this cup from you and Ryan and the kids. I cry to our Papa for healing, knowing He knows and He cries with us. We all will continue to pray. I love you.

You are strong enough for this

Elizabeth said...

i know there are few words that can comfort you, but i want you to know that i am praying for you, your husband, and kids. hugs.

Jill said...

Continuing to pray, my heart aches for you and your family. Praying for healing, for direction, for a miracle! Wish I could give you a hug in person! Your loved, cherished and lifted up, Harmony!

Caroline said...

I think of you every day
sending you prayers and much love

Kris said...

I will continue to pray for a MIRACLE. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever and I know HE is your answer. Love you sister and I hurt seeing you hurt, praying for a restoration of peace and joy to fill your lives once more.

Meredith said...

I love you, my friend and continue to pray!

Kayla said...

Harmony, I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I will be praying!!!!

Michelle said...

I think of you everyday. I have no words other than YOU KEEP FIGHTING! :) I know you will.

Tasha @Healthy Diva said...

Harmony, I will continue to think about and pray for your sweet family. You have been on my thoughts a lot lately. Cancer does suck and I am so sorry that you are going through this right now.

stumblingwithperseverance said...

Harmony, you are daily in my thoughts and prayers. Praying for complete healing for Ryan and for your family to a BIG and faithful God. Much love.
PattyV

fancy nancy said...

I'm praying Harmony...for all of you...without ceasing!

Cotter Crunch said...

praying for answers for comfort for God's strength!

xxoo