Sunday, May 23, 2010

The talking knee

Well today was the big day. I woke up at 5:00, 5:30 and finally 6:30 and I just had to get up and TRY. I walked a good half mile wanting warm up. Did some light stretching and then began a slow jog. I was able to go a few feet and then realized I was limping and not really running. So I began to walk and mentally gave myself a pep talk. Relax your shoulders, feel your feet, breathe...OK now run. My second attempt didn't last long as the pain was beginning to wrap around my knee and I knew I had to stop. So I turned around and had to walk the half mile home. I began to cry...real tears of anguish. heart was hurting a bit as I felt powerless.
I have been training since mid January and it has been great. My endurance has grown and my speed has increased and I have been feeling myself get stronger. I wanted to P.R. in Seattle, now I just want to be able to run Seattle. NOW THIS???

So I tried to pull it together as I knew if I could just make it to church I would be able to see my sport doc friend again. I hunted him down and told him casually that I was unable to run this morning after 8 days of rest and 4 days of the Aleve magic. He quickly told me that my knee was trying to tell me something and that I needed to get into an X-Ray as soon as possible. I immediately began to cry (AGAIN).
Looking like a dork (ugly cryer) I asked him...Why? Why? Why can all these people run and run and run and seem fine and I am being stopped in my tracks?? He didn't really say much other that my knee is trying to tell me something and we need to figure it out. UGH! The time, the dream, the joy, the determination all seemed to be crashing down at that moment.

I am unsure of my future but I do know that I am a runner. I may not look like one, but this is something I am not going to give up on easily. So please pray for me as I try to get into the doctor and hopefully get the information I need to FIX things.


Claudia said...

until you see a Dr you wont know for sure what's wrong so just keep calm and don't think it's the worse.
It might be something simple.
Funny, when I see people running now I always think WHY can't I run that effortless? BUT each runner has their own story and who knows maybe they have dealt with issues like this too or worse and they work it out.
keeping my fingers crossed you'll feel better soon.

Stacie said...

Harmony, I feel your pain. I felt the same way back in February when my knee pain started to get intense. I went through the same emotions. I finally gave in, went to the Dr., got a referral to an orthopedist, and finally started physical therapy. It has been a long road. I'm still not running like I want to be. I still have issues but they are getting better. I want to just be able to run. I took it all for granted when I started this journey in 2006. What I would give to just have to worry about being slow. I'm still doing physical therapy once a week. My knee was painful yesterday and I didn't even do anything. I'm constantly scared that I won't be able to keep doing this. I'm just going to keep praying and keep working on it and hope that it all works out. I'll be adding you into my prayers to the knee gods. Maybe with both of us praying, they will hear. Big hugs.

Molly said...

Ugh, I hate injury. But remember that once a runner always a runner, this knee problem is just a part of being a runner. Hope it all gets figured out soon.

Lindsay said...

Ugh! I am so sorry! I hope it isn't major! Keep us posted

awana4mom said...

Harmony - so sorry to hear you knee is telling you things you don't want to hear. Maintenance (of any kind) is always a pain, but a necessary part of keeping the machinery working. Press on!