Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Everyone Needs a Moment

I am back. Wow. The days have been full and I have not had much time to sit down and blog. As usual I have so much to catch up on.
But instead of trying to cram everything in one post I thought I would just share where I am today. Then hopefully I can then share all the other good "running" stuff that has just been on hold.

My hubby is in the hospital this week getting treatment. Round 3.

I failed a quiz today for school. (for real)

Lovely L had her first PACV Volleyball Practice.

Sweet J wore her ear muffs all day today for National Ear Muff Day.

I worked today for the first time in a long time due to life being crazy.

My house is still in bomb status.

My Eugene "training" plan is lost somewhere in my bomb of a house. (true story)

My to do and should do list is off the charts.

But what can you do? I have learned I can't be everywhere with everyone when I want to. This has been hard. My fat F on a quiz today reminded me that NO, I can not do it all...well. I can only push forward.

The past few weeks I have been working hard physically and mentally to get my long runs in. Praying that my foot will hold out and get me to Eugene.
As many of you know I have been struggling with planter fasciitis for over 2 years. No, that is not a typo...over 2 years. I have tried all sorts of things. I have been desperate and recently connected with a friend and tried doterra oils. I was skeptic and still am to some degree but can't deny that my foot is significantly better. I have been using lemon grass, wintergreen, and peppermint. The only thing I don't like is that it is quite the process. I have to rub each oil seperately and then wrap foot in hot towel several times. I then put my new handy dandy Feetures toeless sock on and I am golden. There is a lot of massage going on and I am sure that is helping in addition to my rolling and icing.

My 15 mile run was ugly and I ended doubting myself.

My 16 mile run was solid. I channelled my Boston Believer Michelle and felt like I could even go further.

My 17 mile run was hilly and physically challenging.

This weekend I have a very special gift coming. I am pretty sure it will have a huge impact on my 18 miles this weekend.

On a side note I am thrilled and shocked at my ability to run these long runs. These are the runs and numbers that make me freak out. I am full of gratitude and thanks. These long runs are not easy for me NOR did I ever think that I would ever be capable of running long miles like this.

I will have MOMENTS running where I think..this can't be my life. I don't want my husband to have cancer. I don't want to feel overwhelmed. I didn't ask for this. I want to cry. I want to quit. I grow tired of being strong. BUT then I will feel my legs burning and pushing through my next step. I will hear myself breathing. I will close my eyes. And that is when my thoughts change to I am strong. God is with me. I will not quit. I will fight. God is faithful.

So bring it. We are over half way through with chemo. Graduation is on the horizon...and Eugene is calling my name.

17 comments:

fancy nancy said...

Harmony I am so happy to hear that you are able to get your runs in and you feel strong!! The bomb status house and such will be there when you're ready for it! I'm so glad that chemo ending is on the horizon as is graduation! Stay strong and continue to lean on Him!

Karen Seal said...

You are such an inspiration, Harmony! I'm glad you finally see a light at the end of the tunnel with treatments and I pray he has a good recovery once this is all said and done. Hope you foot continues to feel better as well! Keep up the good fight! I think about you guys occasionally and continue to pray for y'all! :0)

Tasha @Healthy Diva said...

You are so absolutely incredible. Eugene is definitely calling your name pretty lady!

misszippy said...

You are amazing and don't ever doubt that!

So happy you guys are past the halfway mark. Can't wait until it is all behind you.

Meredith said...

Love you, sweet friend!! You are an inspiration to so very many people... including me :) HUGS!

Marnee A said...

your strength astounds me. Love you and so excited to watch you cross that finish line in Eugene!

Ramblin' On said...

Internet hugs to you!!! Cheering for you.

Michelle said...

Happy tears my friend. One step at a time. One breath at a time. you've got this. <3

megan.vining said...

I love that you are so raw and just share with us your "real life". You continue to inspire me daily! much love to you and your fam!

Caroline said...

you are one of a kind...
I think of you often
I love that picture...

Kris said...

You inspire me with your strength in the Lord!! That is a great picture of you and your hubby. :) Praying for you and your family. Jesus is always there to carry you through when you get weak and I love that about Him. :)
You are a great woman of Faith and an inspiration!!

Julie D. said...

you are amazing, Harmony. I really don't know what else to say. Only God could be involved in what you are carrying right now and not going under. You are a true testament to "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" I know you probably feel like going under a lot but you are still going and breathing and doing. I'm in awe. Keep it up, friend from a distance, whom I've never met! :) Hang on. He's got you.

dreambigrunner.com said...

Just reading all the things you do, makes me tired. You are strong and amazing! Beautiful picture of the two of you!

Elizabeth said...

going through some things right now and i needed to read this. i need to focus on the positive and trust in God. you really are so inspiring. hugs.

Molly said...

That is great to hear that you guys are halfway through treatment! I'm amazed at what you are doing while all this is going on, and I especially love how you find a release in running!!

Becky at Prairie Runner said...

You are an inspiration!!! I passed your blog on to a friend whose husband was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. She feels so alone, but she told me that reading your blog brings her some solace because she realizes there are others going thru the same things she is.

Nadiya said...

Oh no I'm so sad to hear about your husband. I'm going through a similar thing with my grandma right now and it's tough to keep that in balance with daily lab. I had to take some time off from school/ lab during that time.

Forget about the house being clean and all that jazz. Just make sure you and your husband are ok and really don't forget to take care of yourself too.

Best of everything <3