I am feeling grumpy and irritated. I love social media but lately I have been struggling. Some posts/tweets just make me scratch my head. Maybe it is facebook that drives me bonkers but something has to go. I like my Keep On Keeping On page and I have connected with so many great people because of it but not sure if I want to keep it. I like to write, so blogging makes sense to me...most of the time.
I just want to stay real with myself. Why do I do what I do? This is a hard question to ask yourself?
Is it for accountability?
Is to show off?
Show my vulnerability?
I know what my intent is (usually) and I don't want to lose that.
Just food for thought. I am sure I am just ticked and cranky because my husband feels horrible. His throat and mouth pain is unbearable. He is dealing with the effects of chemo. He can't eat, and drinking is miserable as well. He also hasn't been smiling or talking much because it hurts too much. The kids know he is hurting. I know he is hurting but there is nothing we can do to relieve it. We had a bday party for Lovely L this weekend and she started crying during the party. She knew that her Daddy was suffering and I know she missed his normal joyful self and the crazy fun he brings to special occassions. It broke my heart.
Meanwhile it feels like life goes on and we seem to be just a distant thought or an "aww that is too bad" story. It is frustrating to say the least. This seems to be part of the cycle of my emotions of dealing with cancer in our lives. It may not be accurate but it is how I feel. I am sure I just need a punching bag and a LONG LONG run. 11 miles on tap for the a.m. I know God will meet me there just not sure about the blister I discovered under my toenail a few minutes ago.
Have you ever felt this way? What motivates you to be part of social media?