Friday, November 23, 2012

Everyday Thanks

So many posts about thankfulness this week. It has been nice to read and hear about how others are taking take to reflect. I have found that even on our darkest, scariest days that God always gives us a glimpse of the what we still have. Even though there are many, many days that I get caught up with what life used to be He always gives me a glimpse of what we still have.

This thanksgiving didn't really feel very different for me. I feel like I have been a constant state of thanks for the last year. Each day I am with my husband I am thankful. This is not to say I don't worry or get angry but I have learned that I can not stay in those places too long.  I been gaining strength from the truth that  God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Even though I LONG for yesterdays I know we must march on.

I am praying for a miracle and in the last few weeks I have decided to climb out of this hole. We have a huge uphill battle with chemo coming up and frankly I have let myself get out of shape....spiritually and physically. I have let anger and depression lead to extra pounds and isolation.

So I have a uncomfortable and challenging as it may be.

I have started a bible study that is pretty darn cool so far. It is called #SheReadsTruth if you want to check out. I am a little out of my comfort zone but know that God has placed me there so I will give it a shot.

I have slowly started running again. My foot seems to be tolerating the miles so I am crossing my fingers I can increase my mileage. I sooo miss my long runs. I am debating on signing up for a race.
I am swamped with end of semester projects and know that next semester will be crazy as well.
I also know I am going to be spending a lot of time at the hospital. I will be parenting solo in a sense and will also need to take care of my husband. It is going to be tough.
HOWEVER tough does not mean impossible.

So I am thinking about doing a local half in March and then possibly a full in May. It seems crazy to even type that because I know deep down how quickly life can change and in reality the circumstances we are dealing with DO NOT allow you to "plan" anything.  So I know I have to be OK with the fact that IF I do sign up for a race...I may never make it to the start line.

The flip of this WHAT IF I do and WHAT IF my hubby could be there at the finish? Just the hope of that makes me excited but I know that the ugly face of cancer can put a big kink in our "plans".

So what do you think.  Too ambitious? Reality Check?  Denial? Other ideas?
Either way today has been GOOD.  I was blessed to spend another Thanksgiving with my husband and watch our Cougars beat those stinkin' Huskies!! Apple Cup Victory dance with the fam!

Hope everyone enjoys a relaxing weekend and don't forget to check out P.V. Body HERE and get yourself hooked up with some new digs!!


Michelle said...

I say make goals! And if things change, then so be it, but looking forward is much healthier than looking back. Having optimism breeds more optimism. GO for it! (Heck...if the Cougs can beat the huskies, miracles DO happen! And I'm not even a football fan!)

H Love said...

thanks Michelle!

Tasha @Healthy Diva said...

Goals are great and will give you something to look forward too. I have faith in you that you can accomplish anything Harmony! Are you thinking about running Snake River and Winderemere? I am thinking about both of those races too if that is what you are. :-)
Let me know if you need anything when you are in Spokane. I work at Rockwood, but my office is at Deaconess. :-)

Anonymous said...

I say make goals too. Yes things change, we can NEVER plan anything firmly because as you say, God makes his own plans. But you need something to work towards and to look forward to. So sign up. I'm excited for you.

Corey said...

Oh Harmony, your attitude is so inspiring. Go for it with some goals! You have to keep yourself focused, driven and happy to be able to be the wife and mom your family needs. Looking forward to seeing what you pick!

Elizabeth said...

i’m so proud of you. i say make goals-it will keep you on track and give you something else to focus on. hugs!