Thursday, September 22, 2011

Thirsty Thursday...More than Burnt Cookies!

I have been wanting to get my thoughts on "paper" all week and happy that Thirsty Thursday gives me a chance to do that.

Last Sunday we had a sermon on Sexual Sin. I kind of went into it thinking...yes I have been there done that. Some crazy college nights, alcohol, some bad relationships, big mistakes...yes I am past that. Hope these college kids listen up! I am happily MARRIED. Well as the sermon progressed I felt my heart being tugged to listen up...and I began to think about my past sin. Sin that I thought I had let go.
Sometimes as believers we can identify with each other as sinners, but for me that is where is stopped. Yes, believer with all my heart, love God!! But I have been forgetting that other piece of the gosple. That when I confess my sins, my hurts, my regrets to God he is there and he has FORGIVEN me. That sin is gone, done, finished. For reals....

But is it for me??

I typically go through life as a dertermined individual, trying news things and pushing myself to be grow and be better. I have some ugly sin in my past (which I am sure I am not the only one). Sin that has been forgiven but I still pack it around. I don't broadcast it or share it, but at the most unexpected time it will rear it's head and Satan will begin to fill my head with lies.

Often times it is P.C. to say oh you need to get those "negative thoughts" out of your mind and replace them with positive ones. I agree with this but I feel like I am more aware that SIN in the root of those messages.

When we mess up or sin there can be a sense of failure. Is that why my heart is often on a journey of succeeding?? Trying to get away from the thoughts, labels of dissapointment and failure and make things right, prove that I better?

Thoughts of "I am loser, I am so stupid, I'll never be good enough, who would want me, I am a failure again, why am I surprised that I failed again?

The pastor on Sunday showed a clear glass with a dark liquid in it. It was black, dirty, unclean, stained. This is sin our lives.

Then he showed up a clear glass with clean water in it! Oh it was such a pretty picture next to that glass full of darkness. This is God's promise, this is the gospel. God forgives and it is DONE. Oh how I want to see myself as that clean glass of water, made clean and righteous through Christ and his sacrifice!

Beyond confessing and sharing my heart with God, there is nothing I need to do to earn this or make it right. No number of good deeds, P.R.s, new accomplishments or amount of money I can give...will make any difference in where I stand with God.

I feel like I know that BUT on Monday it all became very clear for me for the first time. So you all know I like to suceed, set goals and do a good job. On Monday I decided to make cookies with Sweet J. OK this was unusual because I typically mess cookeis up, so that means I stay away from baking. If I can't do it well....I run the other direction. But for some reason on that day I thought it would be fun. Well it was all good until the baking part. Burnt, under done, watery, flat! UGH!

That was all it took...and the negatve thoughts came pouring in. The thoughts of failure and inadequacies took over. It was then in the kitchen crying that I thought of the sermon and realized that I was NOT crying over cookies but yet in that moment I was feeling the weight of my past sin, the sin I hide, the sin I still carry.

It broke me down and made me cry out to God to please help me remember that my SIN is gone...I am forgiven. I don't need to make cookies the best, be the best mom, or fastest runner, etc. I just get to be a child of God...worshiping and loving Him in the everyday! God did not pull the "loser" card on me....I let Satan do that and he does it well. It is in those moments I could SEE my glass filling up with that dark liquid. I quickly wanted to dump it out and rest in the promises of God. That I am forgiven and made clean.

Unfortunately people have hurt me and I have hurt myself and the result is a dinged up soul. God does not see those dings. It is the "world" that points those out. So one sermon (that I thought I was so over) and baking cookies with my girl has left me changed. Sin of any kinds leaves hurts and creates small holes that can only be filled with God's grace and forgiveness.

The pastor shared a story from the old testament about the Day of Atonement. This was something that was done in the old testtament (before Christ was born and died for our sins) where one day a year all of Israel would gather and the High Priest would go present a goat in the presence of God as a scarifice. A sacrifice for all of the Israelites sin. I have heard this story, but was not familiar with the last part. After the sacrifice was done there would be another live goat that would be swatted on the behind and sent out into the wilderness. Everyone would watch and watch until the goat was OUT of SIGHT, GONE, NO MORE! This goat like the one scarificed was like our sin...gone, not to be brought back up, FORGIVEN!

This story in the old testament is a foreshadow of what we see God do when he sends his son to shed his blood for our sins. Amazing!!

So know that if you have sinned that God is still there, waiting for you to come to Him and pour our your hurts asking for forgiveness. You just have to believe and know that God sees you as that clear, beautiful glass of water...don't let Satan or anyone else tell you any different.

If you want to explore this more!

NOTES directly from
Pastor Josh Martin
Faith becomes a fighter.
Faith becomes violent against anything that comes between Jesus and you.

Part of John Calvin Quote (LOVE THIS)Shame whispers lies that seduce you to believe that you are alone, rejected, worthless, too stained for grace. Jesus cross and resurrection proclaim the opposite.

The truth of scripture.
Memorize Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” 1st John 1:9 “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.” 2nd Cor. 5:8 “If anyone is in Christ He is a new creation.” Romans 3:3 (Micah 7:8-9) These are two verse to talk to the devil.

HUGS to you all...would love to hear your thoughts.


Meredith said...

I was talking to a friend the other day about sin as she was having a hard time not beating herself up over something and in my oh so simple mind, said, "but we are all sinners". All sins are equal. No sin greater or lesser than the next. God loves us and graciously forgives us. Then, it's done. A friend had shared with her that God knew what all her sins would be when He sent His son do die on the cross. And, it was worth it. When you allow yourself to deny the forgiveness or to allow Satan's lies to creep in, you take away from the power of the cross. You diminish what Jesus did for us. Satin is a filthy liar. The one thing I've learned though is that God isn't going to waste our sin. They shape us and make us who we are. They help us to learn and even grow closer to God. Love when God uses our sin to reach out to others and become a blessing. Does that makes sense? So glad you heard the truth and know that you are a clear glass of water!

youniquemom said...

Thanks for sharing from your heart dear Harmony! Your story brings encouragement to the lives of others :)

Deanna@MilesToRun said...

I love Thirsty Thursday. I feel refreshed when I read your Thursdays. Thank you for sharing your faith.

Kris said...

Our God is AWESOME!! Wow, I love this post, it is so true. I have been learning more and more about the mercy, grace and love that God has for us and it is unfathomable to our human minds. The only thing we can do is receive His Grace and live in His promises for us. Thank you for the reminder of His Grace today. I know what you mean when you say your doing good and then what you think is a small fail makes the devil condemn you and makes you feel worthless. When this happens I have to remind myself that my righteousness is not of myself it is through my savior Jesus Christ (Romans 5:12-21). I'm not sure if you have read this book but I just started reading “Destined to Reign” by Joseph Prince and this is exactly what he is talking about. Great book if you haven't read it.

AngMomof3 said...

Milk is white too-- clean, like snow. A good representation for forgiven sin.

And it goes well with cookies.

Burnt or not!

Amanda said...

Thank you for this post. I had a moment like this last weekend during my long run. Satan was working overtime reminding me, as I struggled along, about the gym teachers that I would hear talk about me, or the teasing I got when I was obese. He kept saying that nothing had changed and I was still that slow fat girl and I was going to fail at my marathon. I almost believed it, but I know better and I know my God awesome and powerful. He can do anything and I can do anything through Him. Everytime Satan tries to get at me I just remind him he's going to be feeling hot pretty soon when he's sizzling in the inferno God's going to throw him in. :)

Amanda@runninghood said...

I'm here. :) quiet. Reflective. Thank you Harmony. Love you.

fancy nancy said...

Thank you for sharing this! I so often keep certain sins (some a result of Thirsty Thursday in college) tucked into the recesses of my soul. They come to the surface when I am feeling bad or am going through hard times. I use them as a "see you did this and that is why this is happening" type things. I so often need to remember that that sin has bee forgiven and removed as far as "the east is from the west" and I have no place carrying it around anymore. This is just giving Satan a foothold in my life. I remember in college we went on a hiking trip for a class I was taking. We hiked up to the top of a mountain in NH and the instructor had us study the horizon. There were mountains as far as the eye could see. He had us look all the way to the east and west. Then he read that verse. He illustrated that God has forgiven and removed MY sins as far as the eat is from the west. I will always remember that! What an AWESOME God we have!!

Richelle said...

Thanks for sharing!